Nearly every little girl I’ve known has begged for a pony – I was no exception. Growing up in Texas meant there were many beautiful horses nearby – a couple I was allowed to ride, but none were mine. I still long for that pony – a shiny black male, strong and sleek. I admit to pretending that my black cocker spaniel is a horse, often calling him “my little pony”. In many ways he is . . . he is constantly on my mind and in my heart. I whisper stories in his ear, sometimes cry onto his furry little shoulder and take him on romps in the field whenever I can. I change lyrics to songs to include him, I recite poetry in his name . . . I’m obsessed. I’m ridiculous.
Over my 50 plus years, I’ve come to realize that a real life pony isn’t my only heart-longing. There are many others. I call them my “secret horses”. One such horse is kind of an unusual desire to own a large Airstream trailer. I’d take it on the road and visit artists in their studios. Then I’d interview them on camera in their creative spaces. Huh.
Other secret horses include a living-room-sized closet (more “boutique” than closet) and an ache to own not one, but TWO, art barns! One barn to use as my own studio – the other to host creativity retreats. If I could have a real horse, an Airstream, a monster closet and TWO art barns – well that’s no “secret horse” – it’s a large and happy HERD of my very own!
I’m sharing these with you – oh and there’s others – because 1) if I say it “out loud” it may actually come to pass and 2) I firmly believe “secret horses” are super important. They are more than goals . . . more than ideas or a passing whim. “Secret horses” are real! In them, we glimpse our soul’s deepest desires – they are road maps and clues to who we most long to be. They may be crazy – unreasonable even! They may take years to manifest – but they are visions of our truest, deepest selves.
I’m going to chase my Secret Horses down – one by one. Then, I will throw a rope over its strong, glossy neck and make him mine! Until then, I’ve got a shiny black dog by my side, an off-roadin’ jeep in my driveway, a smallish closet I share with my man, art retreats to attend and two amazing art
(painting – “Secret Horses”, texture, acrylic and ink on paper)